The wind

As I write this, winter's making her grand entrance. It's rainy, windy, and chilly. I'm moving tomorrow and laying amongst the packed boxes and unusually clean living quarters. I'm finishing my last meal in this house as I type.

I looked at some footage last night, to either confirm or deny my pessimistic thoughts on this film. I feel there's about three fourths of a meal on tape so far...what to do, what to do.

I'm not quite sure what I'm lacking either. I've asked my subject the same questions over and over, heard him repeat them to others more eloquently, and so on. Some of the best moments I might have to trim, I fear, due to the length of the film.

I guess what I fear most out of this film is making something either inaccessible or simply boring.

I also realize that working on a project for as long as this, I understand myself more than any college education could teach. For example, how to budget, be constantly aware of promising moments and not lazy, as well as how to understand the human condition. "Respect man without wishing he were more palpable than he is" - Robert Bresson.

For the most part, I simply worry that I won't actually finish this film. I haven't finished a project I made prior to this, as well. With that project, anyway, I simply put it aside because I was out of ideas on how to piece things together. With this project, I have an idea of how to do so, have written things out, and am waiting for a check from the university to buy the proper equipment to complete this thing.

I'm also interested in sending this project to festivals and the such, but by the time I would finish, how many films about the Iraq war will be out, and who'd be interested in another one? And what if the subject matter is dated, and the war ends before I finish? Heh.