Week One, Running Thoughts

So I've begun the post-production process. Bizarre. Having lived inside of this project, off and on, for the past year, piecing it together is like piecing memories together: where I was when I shot that, what I was thinking, etc. The thoughts behind each tape logged (so far, around 7), is seven hours of my life, as well as my subject's, recorded.

Pending disaster (my computer crashing, an economic and/or emotional disaster), I hope to finish about two months from now. Who knows if it's possible or not.

Thusfar, I have about three minutes edited. A moment, shot on the first day (which almost didn't happen, I was working, and decided to call in "sick"), where the subject describes a sunrise in Iraq. Lasting for about three minutes, the moment shocked me, because I had forgotten I even had it. I was so wrapped up in making sure I pinned down every mundane point, I overlooked the lyrical. I guess it worked out for the best: sometimes procedure rewards filmmakers, as the details between the lines are what counts, not the lines.

Looking over these hours, I am hopeful and nervous, being naive and frightened. I don't see myself as a filmmaker per se. Sure, I film and I edit, but I work in a bookstore as well, where I spend more time than on what I care about (or pretend to care about). Being in my early twenties, and working on a project funded only by myself and a few dashes of good luck, I was somehow able to pull off this strange task. Do I see myself as a career man, even if that career is a filmmaker? I like the idea of drifting in and out of what I do, want to do, and am expected to do, never really belonging in one place. I suppose being a nomad provides such a mindset.

Where I go when I finish? Is it a film for myself only, or will others find interest? Either way, I'm glad this road has a (slight) end in sight.