The future

Well, again, it's hard to believe it's been a month since I posted last. It seems like the past month, for me, has been some kind of quiet relief, reeling from the last month's emotional trauma.

Little has happened since with this project in the past month, sadly. I'm only beginning to feel the urge to begin post-production and perhaps that has something to do with winter approaching once again. It's been almost a year since I started this blog which, to me, is quite shocking. I went from serious doubt, sincerely believing that I'd been mistaken with undertaking a project I had no time or money for, and a year later I feel quietly assured that I have a film, even if I'm still doubtful.

It's still incredibly terrifying, all of this, especially making my first "feature length" work, after only working in short non-narrative film for years. Like some, I do fear failure or worse, the sense that I've hit somewhere between failure and success. Success, right now, would be a job paying $10 an hour and a new MacBook for faster editing. I'd say that fear is a large reason why I'm not rushing into post-production and doing any sort of promotion for this film at all.

Perhaps another reason why I'm not rushing is a sense of being content with my current state of living. Mind you, living in Upstate New York at this time of year is gorgeous and affirms most of my feelings about the beauty of some of this area. I like the idea of things in general being incomplete, in progress, and not necessarily on some path to completion. There will come a time when a drastic change in my life must happen, and I know 2007 will be everything this year wasn't in that sense. But for the remainder of the year, despite having accomplished so little in the traditional sense of money and the such, I don't mind being poor and having this film still be incomplete.

So I'm not sure when I can promise any sort of finished work. I have to sift through ten hours of video footage from my subject, a couple of interviews to shoot, and then all's done. Still hard to believe. I'm also shooting another project on the side which I'll discuss later. I'm just waiting for a good shove to finish all of this.