One year later

"It may be true that one has to choose between ethics and aesthetics, but it is no less true that whichever one chooses, one will always find the other at the end of the road." - J.L.G.

It's hard to believe that today (well, yesterday now...) was the final day of shooting this film, on September 11th, 2006.

In that time, I've done nothing but be frustrated about my financial situation, brood about how disappointed I was in not finishing this film sooner, and well, everything else that came with this year, the year of my discontent. But I would be lying if I didn't admit that I was a tad bit relieved to be finished shooting, a film which could've been called No End In Sight had it gone on. Indeed as everything ended, it really ended.

So here things are one year later, still unfinished, but in more progress than before. It was quite some time since I'd spoken to David, but this week I got a call. It's strange looking at a moving image of someone as they speak to you.

I had quite a bit of trouble in the past week, finding my way with this film. I debate between the "necessary" choices (long speeches, exposition, trajectories) and "unnecessary" ones (finding which images/sounds work best filmically), trying to find either a middle ground or a space where both could coexist. I'm finding that this is something of an impossibility, given the "urgency" of the subject matter, but I filmed everything to exist via cutting one image to the next. The question is do they work together, is there a tension between one shot to the next, and is this enough to keep my interest?

I'd been keeping notebooks, ideas from which I pull story related matters, images and sounds, and structural thoughts down on paper. In many ways, this is a terrible idea, because not only has it thrown me off editing, but it's given me an incorrect impression of what I have, causing me to fumble as I piece things together. Oh well.

I'm hoping for more progress soon, even if it's to build a structure and tear it down. I'm sick to death of this box of 100 or so tapes staring at me, the 15 or so hours from Iraq, etc. that David shot, and I just wish to move on. In the meantime, this is me just living with what I have on my plate, trying to build something out of so much.

Still can't fucking believe it's been a year, though.