The wind

As I write this, winter's making her grand entrance. It's rainy, windy, and chilly. I'm moving tomorrow and laying amongst the packed boxes and unusually clean living quarters. I'm finishing my last meal in this house as I type.

I looked at some footage last night, to either confirm or deny my pessimistic thoughts on this film. I feel there's about three fourths of a meal on tape so far...what to do, what to do.

I'm not quite sure what I'm lacking either. I've asked my subject the same questions over and over, heard him repeat them to others more eloquently, and so on. Some of the best moments I might have to trim, I fear, due to the length of the film.

I guess what I fear most out of this film is making something either inaccessible or simply boring.

I also realize that working on a project for as long as this, I understand myself more than any college education could teach. For example, how to budget, be constantly aware of promising moments and not lazy, as well as how to understand the human condition. "Respect man without wishing he were more palpable than he is" - Robert Bresson.

For the most part, I simply worry that I won't actually finish this film. I haven't finished a project I made prior to this, as well. With that project, anyway, I simply put it aside because I was out of ideas on how to piece things together. With this project, I have an idea of how to do so, have written things out, and am waiting for a check from the university to buy the proper equipment to complete this thing.

I'm also interested in sending this project to festivals and the such, but by the time I would finish, how many films about the Iraq war will be out, and who'd be interested in another one? And what if the subject matter is dated, and the war ends before I finish? Heh.

"Zig Zag Wanderer"

This is the first entry I've made about "Zig Zag Wanderer", a film by myself, about an Iraq war veteran seeking conscientious objector status.

First of all, the film is near completion, production wise. I've been shooting since February of 2005, and since then, documenting this soldier's life, as he speaks at anti-war events, spends time with friends, and speaks his mind about the war.

My approach and intentions are not to make an anti-war film, or that political of a film, but a cinematic experience, where the basic elements of film are employed. This isn't a talking-heads film, nor is it an informational documentary.

I've funded the film myself (have spent about $350 so far), and during periods of me not working, production was stopped. When I was working full time as well, I wasn't able to film as much due to time restraints.

I've shot about 55 hours of footage and my subject shot a few hours in Iraq (on his pocket sized Sony DV cam). The format is mini-DV and I shot the film on a Panasonic DVX-100 camera, which I charged on a credit card and took out a loan for. I am editing the film myself, on a 3 year old laptop, and hope to be finished by early February of 2006.

I've never made a documentary before, so my approach was no different than if I were to make a narrative film or an experimental one. I met my subject when I was working in a coffee shop, right after I finished my undergraduate degree, and I knew instantly that he was a cinematic creature, and asked if I could film him. Six months later (or more), I began filming him, as he expressed his dismay with the war, his worries about going back, and what he hopes to do with himself. Integrated into this is the subject's filmmaking, his friends (which in many cases were mutual friends of mine), the progressive movement in Binghamton, NY, the election of a progressive anti-war mayor, a Federal trial with four anti-war activists charged with conspiracy, and a series of road trips.

I hope the film will be elliptical (through visuals and sound), and be more interesting than the subject matter itself. That is every filmmaker's greatest hurdle.